Category Archives: perfectionism

What might have helped Writer B?

My acquaintance with Writer B taught me that a gift such as his must be guarded, nurtured, and if possible, developed with the most special care a parent or mentor can give. Had things been different for Writer B, his … Continue reading

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What was holding Writer B back?

Writer B’s desire for fun in his writing was entirely legitimate, I felt. Fun was my own primary motivation for both cello playing and writing—my lifelong passions. Furthermore, if these activities are nothing but drudgery, your audience will sense it … Continue reading

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Writer B and his flashes of brilliance

Writer B was a dedicated hobby-writer. Probably he didn’t attempt a career in writing because he could make a decent living as a librarian, surrounded by books, which he loved. Like Writer A, Writer B was an encyclopedic reader and … Continue reading

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Two Brilliant Writers and the Problems Caused by Their High Ability

Part 1 The popular stereotype of a ″gift″ or ″talent″ is that the lucky person of this unusual ability doesn’t have to struggle. Above all, he or she surely doesn’t have to struggle against problems caused by the gift itself. … Continue reading

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Your Perfectionist Child, Part Six

If you get into a really serious predicament with your gifted child’s perfectionism where he insists that an activity is not worth doing because he can’t do it well enough—and you can’t argue him out of it—remember that you may … Continue reading

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Your Perfectionist Child, Part Five

When my son stubbornly insists that his cello playing should match the perfect music he hears inside his head, I’m not disturbed until he quits a practice session too soon, stating gloomily, “I’ll never be able to play well enough.” … Continue reading

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Your Perfectionist Child, Part Four

Perfectionist children are likely to have a passion for their work; that’s probably why they embarked on it to begin with. The problem starts when they learn enough about it to realize how much more they need to know. Then … Continue reading

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Your Perfectionist Child, Part Two

My son, who has enjoyed writing and storytelling for many years, somehow also feels paralyzed by his own high standards. That’s when he claims he can never write as well as Dickens does. I saw that I couldn’t fight his … Continue reading

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Your Perfectionist Child, Part One

A number of months ago, my 17-year-old son said to me, “I’m never going to try to write because I’ll never be as good as Dickens.” At first I was dismayed. My husband and I have never required him to … Continue reading

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On Perfectionism

Decades ago in grade school when I got my standardized achievement test scores, I felt like a failure because I was above the 75th percentile in math instead of the 99th, as I was in language. Now, when my sixteen-year-old … Continue reading

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